Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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