M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
