How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
