Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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