i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
