maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
