Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
