I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
