Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
