You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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