i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
