Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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