i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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