id be glad to
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
