i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
