Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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