i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
false alarm. still invincible.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
