The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
