i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
