i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My life is pants optional.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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