Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
