i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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