Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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