She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
