i don't like sucking hair
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
