my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
