I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
