...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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