cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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