How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
