My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
