Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I hate all girls vehemently.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
