i barfeds in our rink
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Holy sore nipples Batman
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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