So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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