you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
