At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
