Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
