After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
