I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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