She said her name was "party"
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
