There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
