I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
