we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
