she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
