I look better un-naked...
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
