So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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