I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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