Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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