am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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