my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
